How do you know whether or not your marriage has just hit a rocky patch or whether it's really heading for divorce? Most marriages are bound to hit a few difficult stretches over the years -- but if that "difficult stretch" is really a precursor to the end, you need to be realistic and start emotionally and financially for the road ahead.
Here are three of the top signs that a marriage isn't going to last:
1. You and your spouse are the children of divorce.
Whether it's just one of you or both of you, the fact that you and/or your spouse had parents who divorced may make it tougher for you and your spouse to weather the rough waters in your own marriage. Researchers have long known that children of divorced parents have a higher risk of divorce themselves. Traditionally, experts have always thought that it was due to learned behavior and that the issue could be overcome with therapy and strong commitments. However, the very newest research indicates that there's actually a genetic component that may heavily influence whether or not divorce is inevitable.
2. Either of you engages in the silent treatment toward the other.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is generally thought of as a sort of passive-aggressive attack on the other person. It prevents any arguments, but it also effectively shuts down all communication as well. If you and your spouse aren't communicating, you also aren't resolving any of your issues -- which means those problems are going to magnify. If the silent treatment is mixed with bouts of contempt, criticism, and defensiveness, experts consider it a sign of a doomed marriage unless serious changes are made.
3. There's any sort of abuse in the marriage, including financial.
Abusiveness is a clear sign that the marriage is on life-support, especially if the relationship has grown physically violent. It's often best for the victim to get out of a violent situation as quickly as possible. However, it's important to realize that not all abuse is physical -- much of the time the abuse is emotional or financial in nature. In fact, the last two may often be intertwined together. If one spouse keeps the other in the dark about the finances, belittles his or her attempts to understand the household's actual wealth, tightly controls every dime that's being spent, and interrogates the other over every little purchase even though they can easily afford it, those are signs that there's emotional and financial abuse happening.
If you recognize any of these three things in your own marriage, it may be time to give a family law attorney a call in order to protect your interests for the future. Contact a company like Tise Allan Brandon for more information and assistance.Share